The Clouds of Doubt

“‘Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are continually before me.’” Isa 49:15-16

At some point in our lives, each of us will have to brave the storm of insecurity. Whether we are a Jack of All Trades or a King of One, we all balk when faced with the clouds of doubt. But one doubt in particular stands out from the rest: the doubt that God could possibly want us to be a part of His family.

Broken and such sinners as we are, there is no way we could be of any use to Him - so why did He call us? Why not that one friend at school who is so much more self-sacrificing that ourselves, or that one coworker who never has a mean thing to say about anyone? Why did God pick us over them? Wouldn’t they be a better fit to do His will than we? Because we have so many problems, surely those problems do more harm than good - both to ourselves and to those around us.

Why did you choose us God? We are full of holes and mistakes, and we could list off 10 people who would be much better suited to the task - why didn’t You choose one of them to do Your will?

Thoughts like these are among those that pour down on us from time to time. And they cannot always be helped, for we are human, and sinners. We must remember that we will never be good enough to earn the Kingdom of God - and we are not expected to be. As we well know, it is our faith and what we do with it that will get us into the Kingdom of God. However much we wrestle with the notion that we will never be righteous enough or perfect enough, we must take to heart the words Paul wrote to the Ephesians in chapter 2 and verse 8: ‘For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.’

God is going to give the Kingdom to us as a gift if we have faith in Him and what He says. A gift. We cannot earn it, no matter how hard we try, so we should not struggle and try to meet some imaginary bar of goodness that is too high up for any man to reach. God is erasing that bar, and simply giving us the Kingdom. We should be thankful and in awe of His great generosity instead of questioning His choices.  

We also mustn't compare ourselves to those around us. While they may seem like a more obvious choice in our minds, God’s ways are not our ways. He knows each and every person that has ever lived better than even they themselves have. We can only know a thin slice of that person’s life - out of context, out of proportion to the rest of their life. God knows the end from the beginning, and He has chosen us to further this end. His ways are perfect, and if His ways are through us, then why do we doubt? Perhaps that friend at school would be a wonderful addition into God’s family, and He has placed you in their life to bring them in - a role only you, as a friend of them, can fulfill.

God has chosen us each for a specific purpose both here and now, and in the future. He knows how we work, and what best suits us to do. He is shaping us to be kings and priests in the Kingdom.

He has chosen us each specifically our of the entirety of the world. And instead of doubt and apprehension filling our minds, it should be awe and wonder at the thought that out of an uncountable number of people throughout time, He chose you. He chose me. He chose us. He is choosing those who will be by His side and will do His work in the Age to come. And we should not doubt Him, but trust. Because His ways are perfect, and in Him can we trust more than anyone else.

Let us not doubt God’s choice in us, but rejoice in it and strive to do His will in this life so we may grow in faith and wisdom in the LORD our God.

‘The LORD your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing.’

Zeph 3:17

In the Hope of Israel,

 Mikaelah B 

 "For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness." Psalms 84:10